Every year you hit that bump in the road and you begin to wonder what on earth am I thankful for. This fleeting thought last a minute as your next thought is one of, “what do I want for Christmas?” There have been moments this year where Thankfulness seems a fleeting chance in the Gift household. For those who don’t know, my wife Laura has now been sick for over 3 months. During this time she has been unable to work and we have taken a substantial hit on our income.
As a pastor I struggle. I make that statement unashamed and with all the truth I can muster up in my heart. I have struggled. You see I thought that I had everything under control and that I was walking in the will of God. Free Union had just finished going through Experiencing God, and I believed that our small congregation had a grasp of what God’s will was for our congregation. This came down to preparing to leave a legacy in our community and in the neighboring Crozet community by planting a church. My prayer was that this would become a model to other small churches out there that were wondering where God might be leading them.
On top of the church plant I had begun my third masters at Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary and everything seemed to be gliding along in the right direction.
The problem when you feel everything is going right is that you begin to fail to be humble in the sight of God, instead you look at all you did and you state, “Man, I’m GOOD.”
Then it happened. August my wife comes home in tears because a headache that was developing has simply become unbearable, and we begin to wonder, what is happening to our family. Tie this in with our son having surgery to repair a birth defect, three years after he was born and our daughter starting kindergarten. I am amazed at how quickly smooth sailing can turn into a torrential downpour.
Now I can fast forward to today, November 28th, and in my weakness I can say that through it all God has carried our family.
You see Laura is getting better day by day, some days are great, others are a step backwards. Every once in a while we need to be stopped and get things in check. It is easy to abandon God when things are going well. It is easy to be angry at God when things are miserable. As his people we need to learn the ability to strike the blessed middle ground. That is, we need to be able to live in awe in the midst of the good and the bad.
What am I thankful for this season? I’m thankful for God’s faithfulness. The hymn states it all:
Great is thy faithfulness, oh God my Father
There is no shadow of turning with thee.
Thou changest not thy comppassions, they fail not;
As thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be…
We can be stuck on ourselves and demand vindication because of what we feel life has thrown us. Or we can realize that God does not change, we as fallible creatures change, but God is the same yesterday, today and forever. I stand in awe of the fact that He loves me and is faithful to me in the midst of everything that I go through. James tells us to consider it pure joy when we face trials of any kind. This is God logic, not ours. I don’t know about you, but I do not enjoy trials. What I do enjoy is the blessings of God that grow out of a testimony of grace when I go through trials though.
So put down the pen and stop writing your Christmas list and instead start writing what you are thankful for. Even the small things, because presents can brighten your day. But God’s blessings can brighten your eternity.